Today, I was supposed to be at, had booked some time ago,and thought I was looking forward to, a conference on creativity in psycotherapy in London at the headquarters of BAAT, which is the British Association of Art Therapists, of which I am a member.
I use the past tense, because, yep, you’ve got there already, I didnt go! Instead I woke up to pure sunshime, did my yoga for an hour, walked along the river, with a friend for an hour and a half and am now sitting here, just about to go into my studio to spend the afternoon painting. (New white reflections still life just starting!)
Not hugely remarkable to change one’s mind, I hear you say, not really special at all except that, for me, and since it was after all a lecture on therapy, I made the decision that going up to attend this day, was in fact stressing me out, not “nurturing’ me at all, so what was the point? I had found myself in an old familiar position, I had taken on too much. I was, and have been for some time, spreading myself too thinly, trying to do everything.
So, early yesterday evening, I decided that I wouldn't attend, that instead I would go out and listen to my daughter sing along with her drumming and guitaring friends and relax. Now this may seem to have been a cop out, an excuse to just do nothing, but in reality, it was all about creativity being put into practice, not kept at the level of theory. I was watching these young, and older friends, literally, find their voices.
It is a gift, I believe, to be creative, and a further gift to have the bravery required to stand up and perform, but it is also a gift to the audience to see the strength found as “flow” happens during a performance. Finding voice and strength and release in creativity is as natural as breathing, but we sometimes forget to focus on this and get diverted into thinking we need to do everything else before we create and sing our own song. So I made my choice, and I kept my focus, and now I am going up the garden path to paint!